Monday, October 30, 2006

halloween 2006

When you're in your mid to late 20s, Halloween is pretty much the most important holiday. See Halloween 2005 here.

Friday at the House of Love (English grad students), Saturday at Grant and Ben and John's house. Please enjoy these digital images.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

more poetic spam

The spam keeps getting better. The artifical intelligence behind this spam is pretty cool.

"A frustrating paycheck assimilates the steam engine. Some pork chop over a grand piano pees on an inferiority complex living with the garbage can. A knowingly dirt-encrusted photon falls in love with the fruit cake. An umbrella brainwashes another parking lot. Some pork chop for the mortician, some globule, and the fractured industrial complex are what made America great!"

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

step up efforts to control the killing

She was very thirsty. Most of her body’s blood had spilled onto the concrete.

From the hole in her side.
From the placed it had pried.
Away the taught youthful skin.
And busted her bones in two.
Her liver disinterred.
Grated on impact and leaked all its juices in blue.
And gray and red and green it ran out of her body to sidewalk and through.

It a man walked, shaken confused, he’s lost all his mind, forgotten of time, he limps.

Like hot red shrapnel had pierced his thigh which it had he cried out loud:

“Why, oh why, must this girl die a painful death on the street?”

“Mothers and fathers and friends are dead.”

“I’ll probably die soon too.”

”So fuck the world and fuck the bombs and fuck the riflemen there.”

“Fuck you! I said, listen to me, fuck everything that's true.”

Sunday, October 22, 2006


I've been super busy lately doing philosophy. Philosophy is funny.

This passage struck me as particularly funny. It is from Hilary Putnam's "The Meaning of 'Meaning'".

"Imagine that we someday discover that pencils are organisms. We cut them open and examine them under the electron microscope, and we see the almost invisible tracery of nerves and othe organs. We spy upon them, and we see them spawn, and we see the offspring grow into full-grown pencils. We discover that these organisms are not imitating other (artifactual) pencils - there are not and never were any pencils except these organisms. It is strange, to be sure, that there is lettering on many of the organisms - e.g. BONDED Grants DELUXE made in U.S.A. No. 2. - perhaps they are intelligent organisms, and this is their form of camouflage. (We also have to explain why no one ever attempted to manufacture pencils, etc., but this is clearly a possible world, in some sense)...In a way, the case of pencils turning out to be organisms is complementary to the case we discussed some years ago...of cats turning out to be robots (remotely controlled from Mars)." (p.242-3)

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

big red

She worked at the coffee shop on the same block
of the biggest beer store in town.

I used to hate her, now I bait her
to look in my direction.

I yell out things like "Yo, bitch! Nice Ass!"
(which always works).

She looks over and I smile wide
and try to look fly but stumble on the sidewalk.

One time she flipped me off which I consider to be progress
because typically she just doesn't notice.

Which seems odd. She's got to wonder who the big hairy dude yelling obscenities from across the street might be.

I mean, come on. You'd think she'd call the cops or some shit yo.

She must be one of them weird, creepy specimens that I don't wan't to have anything to do with.

Peace out.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

the liaison

The liaison between my s and my vowel makes for a cute pair. Vous aimez-vous? Lascivious little liaison, they laugh like loons. The cutest thing you've ever seen? A particular fille jeune. But sitting there in the field, minding each others ears, a cow walks up that doesn't notice them there on the page so little in the middle all alone in the sentence, MOOOOOOO!, that's right, just back up a little bit here, chewin' my cud, da da daaa, I'm sooo full of hay and corn, ahhhh, FLAP FLAP FLAP PLOP FLAP, the little pair no more.

Monday, October 09, 2006

I missed the deadline

I cried a little bit. Just read it.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

4:15pm, progress is made

Making progress feels good. It might be the best feeling thing I can think of revealing right now. At least after weeks of stasis. Regress. Weeks of ideas running splat into walls, slowly, sticky, sliding ideas coming to rest in a glycerine puddle on the concrete floor of my brain. All used up, turned out, crumpled and vacuous from the start anyway. I peeled the layers of disguise away to realize that, they all turn out to be crap. This one will probably too. I just hope it has thicker skin than the others.

I’m sitting in Encore CafĂ©. I was here last night too, but not to make ideas. I’m here now to make ideas and to write them down on this computer. I enjoyed several cups of coffee, accidentally putting soy creamer in the first. That was a bummer. I just saw the ‘cream’ part and poured away, without a care in world.

Now I’m enjoying a late lunch of carrot-potato soup, garlic roasted potatoes, and a hefty turkey sandwich on a baguette with red onions, cucumbers, and herbed cream cheese. Rather spot on with my bottle of Stone IPA. They wouldn’t sell me a bomber of Runination to drink here. I says to ‘em, I says, “Well I can buy two 12oz bottles and drink those right?”

“Well, yes sir, but we can’t sell you the 22oz bottle to be consumed on the premises.”

This is when I kind of freaked out and shoved the fat girl who was ringing me up. She slammed into the wall and slid to the floor quite like my ideas although with more of a thud. It created a scene. Several bike hippies tried to contain me but I’m big and they’re not.

So I’m sitting here now in the corner eating my sandwich and drinking my beer and typing away on my laptop like nothing happened, everybody’s looking at me, the manager talking on the phone, probably with the police.

I should leave.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

the funk explosion of 2006

Click on the picture for a very large version.

Our bodies were covered in lava colored battery acid. The explosions gained momentum as the night progressed. Despite common stereotypes, the Belgians are a corrosive people. Particularly the Flemish. First it was the hop. Gut wrenching acids introduced into early 15th century England cleverly attached to an otherwise perfectly pleasing and functional plant. Moving west, across the ocean, Flemish Manifest Destiny has arrived on out own shores. This time under the guise of otherwise innocuous microorganisms trained to produce low ph metabolites. Puckered were our cheeks. Denameled were our teeth. Exhausted were our salivary glands. A night to be remembered. A night to be feared.

When I left, Ryan and Dar were cowering in the corner crying in each others arms with a bottle of ammonia at the ready, “You’ll be neutralized you bastards! Don’t come near us!”

First, out of the gate, Melbourne Bros spontaneously fermented strawberry ale. The odd spontaneously fermented beer from...England. Smells like musty jam. Very jammy. Rich. Jam. But with a hint of musty, brett like character. Very sweet on the palate. Like diluted strawberry jam. Jam. Fairly tart finish, but is it from the strawberries? Pectin? Jam? One can’t know for sure. Would later be used as a salve for the inside of our cheeks.

Then Ryan’s homebrewed raspberry lambic. Maturing very well. Now four years old. Really nasty in the nose. Spot on. Like very yellow urine. The pisser hasn’t drank anything but raspberry syrup for days. And mushrooms and mildew. The pisser was pissing on a patch of rotten horse manure. Well, not that bad. On the palate this beer backs off a bit. Drier than our last tasting. With a solid acidity, but nothing like that to come. A pleasant, clean finish with a hint of raspberry. Bravo Ryan, Bravo.

The Vichtenaar sour ale was well past its best before date of June 2005, but it was actually better than the last bottle I had. Very sweet, but well balanced by a hefty sour side. Well assimilated. Get some oaky notes and kind of a chocolate covered cherry sort of thing even though there are no cherries here.

The Petrus sour ale was also well past it’s best before date, but it too had held up well. Not very tart or sour after the Vichtenaar it showed a nice malt character in the nose but more so on the palate. Special B? Chocolate malt? Very nice.

The two De Proef Primitive ales were interesting. Each about the same color, same strength, 9% abv, about the same carbonation, about the same final gravity. But the bottle with the “pig nun” and the “little armored thing” on the label was a much calmer ride. Fairly smooth all the through. A bit of funk in the nose but subdued. Big fermentation character, maybe a touch tart in the finish, hefty hopping, but all in all a very easy ride. The bottle with the “red caped bird” on it was an adventure. Massive dry hopping in the nose and maybe some spicing. The palate was herky-jerky all over the place. Much hoppier, big spicing?, much more tart in the finish. Reminded me of a slightly sweeter, spiced Orval.

The Rodenbach Grand Cru was much more intense than expected. The nose is absolutely funk-a-licious. Straight up cheese. Or smelly shoes. Really funky. Really puckering on the palate. Very sour. Definitely the most sour so far. Fairly sweet with a decent malt character underneath it all though. But still really tart.

The New Belgium La Folie was a whole new level of acidity. Supposedly brewed to be less sour than Rodenbach, our opinion was that this beer blows Rodenbach out of the water in terms of sourness and sheer acidic power. Much drier than Rodenbach, or at least so perceived, this beer strips teeth of enamel and sets your saliva glands to pumping out copious quantities. Much less complex than Rodenbach, but more aggressive. My bottle is marked 05-2030.